Male OBGYN

OK I will tell you something that you can either judge me for or understand or find lovely in a healing way. I will also admit that THIS is why we are all part of the solution. ALL OF US are constantly healing each other.

The first time I ever went to a gyn it was a man - and he was a giant jerk. As I was walking back to the room he came out of the examination room next to mine and he threw a used speculum on the nursing station and yelled, "this woman has yeast" in a disgusted voice. (He'd been examining it under a microscope). In those days we couldn't buy OTC medication for yeast infections and HELLO diflucan.

The nurses said NOTHING. Other patients looked away, mortified. I had never been to anyone but a DO/pediatrician before so I didn't know what to expect. Perhaps this is how grown up women got treated? Meanwhile - the nurses exchanged looks and swallowed their words.

I waited anxiously in the room whilst a nurse came in and then HE came in. GAH! Of all the chances. He was even rude to his wife on the phone because she called and he took it and slammed down the receiver on HER. This was NOT a pleasant man. Then he said, "My wife is pregnant and rolled his eyes." THAT should have clued me in.

Meanwhile - I explained I had lupus and had gotten yeast before in my throat and vaginally and I simply needed something to treat it. And he accused me of being sexually active. I. WAS. NOT. Now- if I was, I would have told him. And later on I would become so. But at the time - NOTHING could have been further from the truth. He was examining me and left a speculum in me while he left the room to get something. It was excruciating. I was crying when he returned. And of COURSE he was NOT compassionate or kind.

Then I'm sure he went out and threw my yeasty speculum on the counter. And he came back in and told me there was no way I could have that much yeast without being sexually active. AGAIN. And he insisted on doing a pap and std check. But I refused. I WAS NOT GOING TO. He refused to write the Rx without it. So I caved because I was so uncomfortable. OF COURSE they came back negative. HOW ELSE could they come back?

I got my Rx for yeastie beasties and PROMISED I WOULD NEVER EVER EVER EVER go to an OBGYN AGAIN. EVER.

And then I left for uni and discovered in a larger city there were NP's who were WOMEN. And from then on I ONLY went to women and exclusively NP's. And of course, when I became sexually active, I NEEDED regular checks etc. It was a breeze and I had only good experiences.

UNTIL I came home. And I ran into a woman who takes new patients in my city and my insurance and who got me in for an emergency issue... and of course, SHE was a bitch. She was brusque and didn't talk to me nicely. And she did things in a fast manner that HURT (even though by now gyn exams are a snap- I was SHOCKED that someone could make them hurt).

So-- the end of this story is - I had two people mention this man they see. I kept saying NO. NO NO NO. Then, I finally went to him for my annual. One of my friends had actually spoken to him and he REMEMBERED me. When I got in everyone was lovely. And he met me in his office before the exam. And fully clothed we talked about what was going on. Then we moved to the exam room.

I disrobed from the waist down. Did the stirrups. Blah blah blah. And he came in and was SO congenial and pleasant. He COMPLETELY rocked it. He talked to me the entire time, pleasantly - like his head wouldn't explode if he actually shared a story with me. He asked what I was working on. I FORGOT myself because it is SO uncommon to have someone's hands inside your twat and be asked about work. But I told him. And he chatted about a few similar ideas - WHILE HE WORKED.

WOW!

Then he was done. And he shook my hand and looked in my eyes and smiled and said, "I am so glad we got to meet today." *faints*

He completely healed me of EVERY bad male doctor visit I have ever had. And I realized that we are all in this together. We are ALL able to help each other and heal each other through our actions. And though I've had other male doctors since then - I've NEVER let a male doctor touch me like that since my first negative experience.

So- now I have a new male obgyn. He came from the recommendation of two women whom I respect. And I'm grateful that I have a new perspective.